"In the world of MMORPGs, money is time. The spending power of every gold coin is directly related to how long it took to earn. Buy gold, and you're able to bypass hours of grinding and arm yourself with desirable gear without the mindless farming. Lose gold, and you could be set back weeks or months of in-game effort.

"So it's easy to imagine my reaction when I learned my mumbling little brother had lost three months of his life."

"What's on display here is the bad blood between two game series, Ninja Gaiden and Capcom's Devil May Cry. Sonia is a mockery of Dante, hero of Devil May Cry, a white-blonde, blue-eyed guy with a prominent Greek nose and a propensity for leather. He wields a pair of .45 autos called Ebony and Ivory. The placement of Itagaki's name on the shot of Ryu standing over a helpless parody of Dante sends a message: Ninja Gaiden, not Devil May Cry, stands at the crest of Hardcore Hill.

"But who gets that joke? Who cares about such archaic, macho grandstanding? Who is Itagaki's message really for? The answer is: the worst possible videogame customer."

"Pretty much anyone who's ever considered how to make the world a better place has spent a little time seriously entertaining the idea of total annihilation. Even God, if the Old Testament is to be believed. After all, if the state of the world - and the people in it - is the problem, then why not wipe the slate clean?"

"More Mark Mothersbaugh than Mick Jagger, Schafer has built a reputation for creating weird, cerebral games that rely more on clever dialogue and witty characterizations than seat-of-your-pants gameplay. Beginning his career at LucasArts with The Secret of Monkey Island, which he helped write and program along with fellow designer Dave Grossman, Schafer has carved out a niche in an industry obsessed with the next Top-40 hit where he and his team can work on something a bit more offbeat."

"Like any proud (Filipino) American family, we give thanks that we may eat well, drink well and tear up the local Counter-Strike server. While the older folks gather around the karaoke machine and croon the same '80s pop tunes every year, my middle school-aged cousins cluster around our motley collection of PCs, and without fail, "Boom, headshot!" resounds throughout the house. This is because, from gamer geeks in the Netherlands to my 12-year-old cousin in California to my college roommates who got me hooked on the show three years ago, everyone watches Pure Pwnage."

"'A small step for a man,' he hissed into the intercom as his lead-loaded soles stepped out of the airlock and sank into a dusty, malleable rock surface far more pristine than human history knew. Maybe someone at mission control would appreciate the joke, he thought. Just to do away with the absurdity of the endeavor."

A mysterious return trip to the moon's surface goes horrible awry.

"After about an hour, the cold got brutal. I tried to get outside, since the sun was shining and it looked like it wasn't as bad out there. When I reached the front door, I put on my overcoat and tried to turn the knob. It had frozen shut. My hand burned from the cold when I touched it."

Darius Poyer is cold ... so very cold.

"Jerry hugged closely against the contours, looking for gaps or seams. It held up well almost all the way across until finally his character slipped through into oblivion and went limp. Ragdoll physics were probably the greatest job satisfaction there was in quality assurance, he thought as his character bounced a few moments, twitching violently in opposing directions."

A game tester tries to escape from his hijacked development studio.

"The situation was dire, and becoming more so. It was time for the bard to call on a higher power. 'My friends, you will soon force my hand. If you do not desist in this loutish mode of outlander speech, I shall be forced to call upon Those Who Watch Above in Silence.' A hushed calm fell over the tavern. Torgil gazed from one face to the next, ensuring that they understood the gravity of his words.

"'Dude,' said the wizard, 'is he going to, like, report us?'"

Torgil the Bard attempts to stave off the invasion of his beloved RP server.

"Barry smiled and raised his sword to the skybox. 'Behold, guildmates! Dr. Funkentime has arrived to quell this uprising most evil. I have but one question to ask of my brothers in arms before we cut these heathens down. Do you feel funky? Because it's FUNKENTIME!'"

Two cubicle-dwelling brothers in arms lose everything to save their online world.

There are plenty of genuinely good games to choose from - why would you intentionally play a bad one? Steven Croop explores the social dynamics of playing bad games for fun.

Film, music and television all have their entries in the "so bad it's good" hall of fame. Why not videogames? Ronald Meeus chronicles his descent into the Worst Games of All Time.

Gamers may feel like outcasts, but there's one group even they won't touch. Andrew Webster examines why readers of videogame-based novels are at the bottom of the geek totem pole.

Some online conquests earn you loot. Others just earn you baggage. Amanda Yesilbas looks back at her time spent roleplaying a virtual temptress.

Alcohol and electronic entertainment go hand in hand - as long as the games are simple enough for a 3-year-old to play. L.B. Jeffries examines what makes a successful videogame for drunk people.

The Nintendo DS's touchscreen interface may have helped push the industry in a new direction, but its real innovation is a bit more subliminal. Tom Endo explains how portable gaming has gotten a little more cozy lately.

Simple, cheap methods of piracy have made the Nintendo DS the most vulnerable portable console ever. There's a reason why Nintendo doesn't care.

According to the NPD Group, 79 percent of portable gamers use their devices at home more than any other location. Why the reluctance to go out and play? Nova Barlow examines what's keeping portable gaming behind closed doors.

The Nintendo DS has a built-in microphone for a reason: humiliating yourself in front of strangers. Jiahui Cai details her increasingly bold attempts to play voice-activated DS games in public.

What will Final Fantasy XIII have in common with the Battleship Yamato, Japan's most powerful World War II-era dreadnought? Just like the ship, the game will already be obsolete by the time it comes out. Ray Huling examines the evolution of the Final Fantasy series.